“Be angry, and do not sin” do not let
the sun go down on your wrath, nor give place to the devil. Let him
who stole steal no longer, but rather let him labor, working with his hands
what is good, that he may have something to give him who has need. Let no
corrupt word proceed out of your mouth, but what is good for necessary
edification, that it may impart grace to the hearers. And do not grieve
the Holy Spirit of God, by whom you were sealed for the day of redemption. Let
all bitterness, wrath, anger, clamor, and evil speaking be put away from you,
with all malice. And be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one
another, even as God in Christ forgave you”. Ephesians 4:26-32
Justina
made the move. Shame on me.
Today is
the 15th July, 2015.
Now
through our silent war, Justina remained the kind and loving wife. She
ensured that I had the usual sumptuous dinners and she cleaned up after me.
Justina is an excellent cook. Rich and assorted meals are her specialty and all
through the cold war, she continued to be her usual wonderful self while I remained
trapped in my own bitterness and anger. Now she made her move…
Justina
told me she needed to talk to me…I sat and listened. Justina told me how
disappointed she was in me for holding on to a grudge for so long without
budging even after the sermon in church and all her silent entreaties aimed at
making peace. She was hurt that I still chose to remain aloft and she apologized
for anything she might have done to upset me. Now instead of breaking down the
walls and making things right, the lawyer in me sprang up.
Now on
Saturday night when we had the misunderstanding, you remember I said Justina
stated that she had other things on her mind aside from contacting the medical lab? (See Episode 7 of Season 2) Well, that was the
statement I held on to. That was the statement that turned my belly. How dare
she say she had more important stuffs to think about besides something that
directly concerned my vision and our common destiny? I continued hammering on
how disappointed I was with her for making such a statement and how she wasn’t
demonstrating enough to prove that she was a part of the vision…at this point I
was sounding like an old wretched woman but I held on as though my life
depended on it. But deep within me, I knew I had no valid point.
On Monday
and Tuesday, I had prayed alone instead of our usual joint prayer sessions. God
alone knows if my prayers were answered on those days. The bible is clear on
the importance of agreement prayer, peace between brethren and forgiveness. I
had failed on all counts.
That
night as I laid on the bed getting set to sleep, I was overwhelmed with guilt
and shame. There is something about anger, it makes you forget what really
matters and then you dwell on petty things. As I looked back at the hurt I had
caused, I tapped my wife, my friend and my BETTER half “Justina please lead us
in prayer”
“Brethren, do not be children in
understanding; however, in malice be babes, but in understanding be mature”. 1
Corinthians 14:20
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