HE COVERED MY SHAME…MY DADDY IS MY CLARK KENT (SEASON 2 EPISODE 2)

“and in the wilderness where you saw how the Lord your God carried you, as a man carries his son, in all the way that you went until you came to this place.’ Deuteronomy 1:29-31

Justina picked the result of the HSG on 6^th July, 2015 (See Episode 1 of Season 2).

According to the result, her cervical canal was normal, her uterine cavity was normal. However, they discovered some features of pelvic adhesions. Justina had put a call through to her friend’s sister who was a medical doctor in order to understand the implications of the result and the doctor explained to her…

The adhesions may be the result of infections that were not properly treated. At that stage, it could be managed through drugs or it could heal naturally but total recovery could only be certain through surgery. However, surgery was never recommended for women who had challenges with taking in as this could further complicate issues. There was no cause for alarm though, it was a minor issue.

Her friend’s sister (the Doctor) advised her to do another swab test and have the results before our next appointment with Prof.

I was on official leave from work for about two weeks. I was in the LLM program in the University of Lagos and we were having the semester examination at this time. When Justina told me the doctor’s view over the phone, I went to see the 1 person I could always talk to; my dad.

I drove down to Egbeda to see my dad. I met him in his office (he runs a primary school in Gowon estate) my dad had just returned from Imo state on the 3^rd July. He had travelled for the burial of a close friend.

Now the parents of my biological mum are still very much alive.

My maternal grandfather is well over 100 years old while my grandmother is probably almost 100years old. It is my father’s usual practice to mandate my siblings and I to join him in sending funds to my grandparents from time to time.

“Honour your father and your mother, that your days may be long upon the land which the Lord your God is giving you. Exodus 20:12

Despite the fact that my biological mother was late, my father still took care of my maternal grandparents like they were his own. He usually paid for their medical bills and gave them money from time to time.

“But if anyone does not provide for his own, and especially for those of his household, he has denied the faith and is worse than an unbeliever”. 1 Timothy 5:8

Now this visit may well be the last because according to my dad, my grandparents didn’t look like they had much time left.

During his trip to Imo State, my father requested that my grandparents bless the entire family individually and he recorded this spiritual exercise on phone.

This spiritual exercise has a major significance…parental blessing evokes something in the spirit…we see it done in the bible and we see the impact. As a believer, you are a priest and as a parent, you are called to function as a priest in your own home. Priests were called to represent the people before God in intercession, to make sacrifices, and to pronounce blessings in the name of Israel’s God. This is your calling as a parent. Pray for your children. Pour your life into them sacrificially. Speak God’s Word over their lives and bless them regularly with the words that God gives.

Better yet is the practice of catering for your aged parents, you are setting standards and you are sowing seeds which you shall REAP BOUNTIFULLY IN YOUR OLD AGE. As you do so, carry your children along so that they shall learn kingdom standards. The aged must never be neglected.

As I watched the video on the blessing session on daddy’s phone, I was overwhelmed with a feeling of nostalgia and it brought back some unhappy memories. My grandmother’s face reminded me a lot of my Mother. It’s been six years now since mother went to be with the lord and although I do not mourn like unbelievers do, every now and then, especially when I perceive something that makes me remember my mother; I break down.

It was during the session that Daddy broke the news of my elder sister’s death to my grandmother…the old woman wept bitterly.

Someday, I will tell you guys more about my elder sister, for now, it still hurts a bit. But I meant everything I said at her graveside… “Onyi you were the best of us all”

I know there is an end to untimely death in my home henceforth. God in his mercy shall preserve the remnant that remain and affliction shall not come a second time.

Now back to my story…

I shared the story of the HSG test report with my dad. Daddy counselled me and assured me that God was still in perfect control of everything. I was strengthened. I explained to my father at this point that Justina and I were making plans to go see the Prof again with the test results but we would not be able to go until the following week. We needed at least N10,000 for consultation fee and other charges and at this time, Justina and I didn’t have up to N5,000 between us. Daddy told me not to worry, he would handle the bill.

It felt a little painful because I didn’t want to be in this position of collecting funds from my father. O lord I look up to you for your sustenance!

But my father is a wonderful person, I know I can always rely on him, he comes through whenever I need him. I am blessed to have him as a father. How much more would Jehovah then care for me if my earthly father is ready to do so much for me?

An hour with my Daddy and I felt so much better and ready to face whatever may come. God is still on his throne.

It is well.

“and the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus”. Philippians 4:7

TRY A LITTLE TENDERNESS…LESSONS IN TENDER LOVING CARE (SEASON 2 EPISODE 1)

“Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ also loved the church and gave Himself for her…” Ephesians 5:25-29

HSG is the abbreviation for Hysterosalpingography.

Based on the recommendations of Prof, Justina had to go for the HSG test (see Episode 7 Season 1). As was my usual practice, I did some research in order to fully understand the procedure. Below is a summary of what I learnt concerning HSG…

A hysterosalpingogram or HSG is an x-ray procedure used to see whether the fallopian tubes are patent (open) and if the inside of the uterus (uterine cavity) is normal. HSG is an outpatient procedure that usually takes less than 5 minutes to perform. It is usually done after the menstrual period ends but before ovulation.

How is a hysterosalpingogram done?

A woman is positioned under a fluoroscope (a x-ray imager that can take pictures during the study) on a table. The gynecologist or radiologist then examines the patient’s uterus and places a speculum in her vagina. Her cervix is cleaned, and a device (cannula) is placed into the opening of the cervix. The doctor gently fills the uterus with a liquid containing iodine (a fluid that can be seen by x-ray) through the cannula. The contrast will be seen as white on the image and can show the contour of the uterus as the liquid travels from the cannula, into the uterus, and through the fallopian tubes. As the contrast enters the tubes, it outlines the length of the tubes and spills out their ends if they are open. Abnormalities inside the uterine cavity may also be detected by the doctor observing the x-ray images when the fluid movement is disrupted by the abnormality. The HSG procedure is not designed to evaluate the ovaries or to diagnose endometriosis, nor can it identify fibroids that are outside of the endometrial cavity, either in the muscular part of the uterus, or on the outside of the uterus. Often, side views of the uterus and tubes are obtained by having the woman change her position on the table. After the HSG, a woman can immediately return to normal activities, although some doctors ask that she refrain from intercourse for a few days.

Is it uncomfortable?

An HSG usually causes mild or moderate uterine cramping for about 5-10 minutes. However, some women may experience cramps for several hours. These symptoms can be greatly reduced by taking medications used for menstrual cramps before the procedure or when they occur. Women should be prepared to have a family member or friend drive them home after the procedure in the event that they are experiencing cramping.

(Culled from http://www.reproductivefacts.org/FACTSHEET_Hysterosalpingogram/)

Justina had discussed with a friend who had undergone the procedure and her friend recommended that she used Echo Scan Services Limited located at Opebi Road, Lagos State. The test costs N12,000. Justina had the procedure on the 3^rd July, 2015. On this day, I was in Ibadan for a burial ceremony, however, I kept calling to follow up. Now HSG is an invasive procedure, therefore pain and discomfort is expected. I believed Justina would be able to bear it.

At about 4pm on that day, the procedure was over, Justina sounded really tired and in pains when I spoke to her over the phone. Unfortunately she had driven herself to Echo Scan Services Limited so she had to drive back home. With hindsight, maybe I should have been present on that day, at least to drive her home and comfort her.

At about 5pm, same day, Justina had to procure some recommended drugs including Ciprotab and painkillers. At this time, she sounded much better on phone. She would later explain to me that the excruciating pain was short-lived and it vanished rather abruptly. What remained was the slight discomfort around her navel region.

I returned to Lagos on the 4^th July 2015. Now I am what you may call a neat freak. Seeing things untidy could unsettle me greatly. When I returned home that day, the housekeeper was cleaning up our apartment (she came every Saturday to clean up the apartment and do the laundry) however, she had failed to properly mop the floor after scrubbing and the feeling of wet ground irritated me. Justina laid in the living room watching African Magic.

My demeanour changed. As was my usual pattern when I was upset, I wore a frown and I was cold towards her. I drew her attention to the haphazard job the housekeeper was doing and she barely managed to get herself up to go supervise the chores. Now I felt Justina was no longer in severe pains so there could be no excuse for this laxity. In less than five minutes, I left the house to go buy bulbs. It was all I could do to prevent an outburst.

On my drive to the supermarket to pick up the bulbs, God started dealing with me…

Was I in Justina’s shoes to understand how she was feeling? My wife had just undergone an invasive procedure and instead of me to shower her with kindness and compassion, I was bothered about wet floors? Where is the love?

“Be kindly affectionate to one another with brotherly love, in honour giving preference to one another” Romans 12:10

I repented.

On getting home, I dashed into the kitchen and made a quick meal of noodles, plantain and eggs for the both of us. When we were done eating, I told her to narrate the procedure to me.

The explanation made me cringe. It made me appreciate women more, it made me appreciate Justina more. I love her with all my heart.

"Love suffers long and is kind; love does not envy; love does not parade itself, is not puffed up; does not behave rudely, does not seek its own, is not provoked, thinks no evil; does not rejoice in iniquity, but rejoices in the truth; bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things". 1 Corinthians 13:4-7

A CALL TO WORSHIP…FINDING PURPOSE IN GOD (SEASON 1 EPISODE 8 The Season Finale)

“If we say that we have no sin, we deceive ourselves, and the truth is not in us. If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness” 1 John 1:8-9

I have gone through the initial 7 episodes of Season 1 in order to give a picture of life before May 7^th 2015. You will observe that my life before this rude awakening was void of purpose and a personal relationship with God. I simply lived for the moment and I enjoyed the hedonistic lifestyle to the fullest. It took a test result to confirm to me that something was missing. I had long removed God from the equation of my life and now I was finally empty and lost.

“I will return again to my place till they acknowledge their offense. Then they will seek my face; in their affliction they will earnestly seek me.” Hosea 5:15

Fortunately, I had parents who knew the way to the father. Parents who knew how to redirect me to the throne room of mercy and grace. Parents who knew when to show up.

“We will not hide them from their children, telling to the generation to come the praises of the Lord, and His strength and His wonderful works that He has done”. Psalm 78:4

I was finally ready. God didn’t reveal himself until I was at my lowest point. When I had no one else to turn to; when I was thoroughly broken: This was when I needed him the most.

This blog is aptly named thejune7thproject because it was on this day, a month after my test results came in, that I caught the vision of God’s purpose for my life and the essence of my existence.

Before June 7^th 2015, I never had a clear vision about my purpose on earth. Fine, I am a lawyer and a civil servant and I hope to be the best at what I do but when an old friend asked me what my purpose on earth was, I replied simply “I want to be happy”. As elementary as that sounded, it was loaded with a million dreams. My happiness would invariably mean the happiness of mine and that was contentment to me. I didn’t want so much.

Little did I know that God was setting me up for a greater task.

“For whom He foreknew, He also predestined to be conformed to the image of His Son, that He might be the firstborn among many brethren” Romans 8:29

Like an infant, I started seeking God’s face. Every night, Justina and I would worship and call upon the name of God. I sought him in spirit and truth and I put more into fellowship with believers. And my faith became stronger as I studied the word of God and he revealed himself to me in a new and special way.

However, revelation of God’s covenant didn’t come until June 7, 2015.

As I worshipped God in the sanctuary on that day, his word came to me clearly: 

“WHAT DO YOU WANT SO THAT WHEN I DO IT, YOU WILL KNOW IT IS ME” 

“So shall My word be that goes forth from My mouth; it shall not return to Me void, but it shall accomplish what I please, and it shall prosper in the thing for which I sent it”. Isaiah 55:11

That night, Justina and I approached God in worshipped and asked him for what was most paramount in our hearts.

Children.

We didn’t ask him for a male or a female, we asked him for twins. A girl and a boy. And we sealed our covenant with God in prayer.

I tell you this today so that its manifestation would be evidence that God rules in the affairs of men. I tell you this so that you can press for a better understanding of God, hear clearly from him and forge everlasting covenants with him. God never breaks his covenants. Never.

“Then the Lord answered me and said: “Write the vision and make it plain on tablets, that he may run who reads it. For the vision is yet for an appointed time; But at the end it will speak, and it will not lie. Though it tarries, wait for it; because it will surely come, it will not tarry”. Habakkuk 2:2-3

In subsequent episodes, I shall share with you how I finally discovered purpose and the reason for creating this blog.

“Your eyes saw my substance, being yet unformed. And in Your book they all were written, the days fashioned for me, when as yet there were none of them”. Psalm 139:16

I invite you to share with me, purpose, destiny and fulfilment.

A purpose so big that it has the potential of touching every human being on earth. I shall take you on my personal journey even as I use my life’s experience to teach lessons in faith, purposeful living and family.

This blog is centred on one thing “Choice Children”

And this I shall expatiate on in subsequent posts as I create living templates for model homes, raising godly children and above all, achieving eternal life.

After June7, one thing became clear, I could no longer afford to live an ordinary life; God has created me for something bigger and better. I have no choice but to be extra-ordinary. Apart from my personal walk with God, I will also put up scripture and messages that talk about holiness especially for expectant parents and parents all the same. This is my story filled with the salvation message for all those who long to have their children and those who already do have theirs. Come with me…

THE WONDERS OF MEDICINE…DO NOT NEGLECT THE PHYSICIANS (SEASON1 EPISODE 7)

“Honour physicians for their services, for the Lord created them; for their gift of healing comes from the Most High, and they are rewarded by the king. The skill of physicians makes them distinguished, and in the presence of the great they are admired. The Lord created medicines out of the earth, and the sensible will not despise them. Was not water made sweet with a tree in order that its power might be known? And he gave skill to human beings that he might be glorified in his marvelous works. By them the physician heals and takes away pain; the pharmacist makes a mixture from them. God’s works will never be finished and from him health spreads over all the earth. My child, when you are ill, do not delay, but pray to the Lord, and he will heal you. Give up your faults and direct your hands rightly, and cleanse your heart from all sin. Offer a sweet-smelling sacrifice, and a memorial portion of choice flour, and pour oil on your offering, as much as you can afford. Then give the physician his place, for the Lord created him; do not let him leave you, for you need him. There may come a time when recovery lies in the hands of physicians, for they too pray to the Lord that he grant them success in diagnosis and in healing, for the sake of preserving life. He who sins against his Maker, will be defiant toward the physician” ^- The Book of Sirach.

 

On the 10^th May, 2015, after the Sunday church service, my parents, my wife and I went to see the Prof. By the way, I worship at the Latter Rain Assembly. Yes, Pastor Tunde Bakare.

On our way to see the Prof, I took time to brief my parents about the situation. My parents remained calm and that was consoling in no little way.

We got to the Hospital and after waiting a couple of minutes, we went in to see the Prof.

The Prof attended to Justina first. He examined her abdominal region and he took notes. And then it was my turn.

He examined my private regions and he took notes again. According to the Prof, the result of my test showed that sperm was virtually non-existent in the semen.  He explained that Doctors usually didn’t base their judgments on a single sperm analysis test as several factors could have affected the result. He directed that I should take another test in six weeks. Furthermore, I shouldn’t use any form of lubricant when trying to produce the specimen as lubricant may come in contact with the semen and alter the results. He explained that he observed that I had a condition known as Varicocele. Let me explain what this means…

“A varicocele (VAR-ih-koe-seel) is an enlargement of the veins within the loose bag of skin that holds your testicles (scrotum). A varicocele is similar to a varicose vein that can occur in your leg. Varicoceles are a common cause of low sperm production and decreased sperm quality, which can cause infertility. However, not all varicoceles affect sperm production. Varicoceles can also cause testicles to fail to develop normally or shrink. Most varicoceles develop over time. Fortunately, most varicoceles are easy to diagnose and many don't need treatment. If a varicocele causes symptoms, it often can be repaired surgically.” (mayoclinic.org)

He however wanted me to retake the Sperm analysis test in six weeks’ time (18^th June, 2015) in order to rule out all variables. He directed that Justina carried out a hysterosalpingogram (HSG).

A hysterosalpingogram, or HSG is an important test of female fertility potential. The HSG test is a radiology procedure usually done in the radiology department of a hospital or outpatient radiology facility. Radiographic contrast (dye) is injected into the uterine cavity through the vagina and cervix. The uterine cavity fills with dye and if the fallopian tubes are open, dye fills the tubes and spills into the abdominal cavity. This shows whether the fallopian tubes are open or blocked and whether a blockage is at the junction of the tube and uterus (proximal) or at the other end of the tube (distal).- http://www.advancedfertility.com/hsg.htm

The HSG was necessary to ensure that Justina had a properly functioning reproductive system.

He recommended some antibiotics to fight the moderate infections discovered in the Sperm analysis test (Staphylococcus Aureus and E.coli).

That night, Justina and I prayed again. Turning to God in worship and praise. With a broken heart and the mindset of the prodigal son longing to return to his father.

One prayer point was paramount, we needed to know God more.

“That their hearts may be encouraged, being knit together in love, and attaining to all riches of the full assurance of understanding, to the knowledge of the mystery of God, both of the Father and of Christ,  in whom are hidden all the treasures of wisdom and knowledge”. Colossians 2:2-3

THE DAY OF DISTRESS…THE GOD OF THE HOPELESS (SEASON 1 EPISODE 6)

Have mercy on me, O Lord, for I am in trouble; my eye wastes away with grief, Yes, my soul and my body! –Psalm 31:9

On the 7^th of May, 2015, I went for a sperm analysis test. On the 9^th of May, 2015, the results came in. I had a sperm count of 60,000M/L with a 0% motility, the sperm count of a normal fertile male is about 20,000,000 M/L. in order words, I had acute Oligospermia.

Justina held me close as I stared bewildered at the empty space, what went wrong? I put a call through to my father and he assured me that all would be well. He put a call through to Professor Olatunji, the head physician in The New Kings Specialist Clinic, located around Abule-Egba in Lagos State… now let me tell you a little about the Prof.

The search for a child is not entirely new in my family. My step mum was married for about 20years without a child. Her ex-husband passed away in 2007 and in 2013 she married my father. In the search for a child, they sought for medical assistance.

Now a couple of tests she underwent revealed that she had fibroid. Our family doctor, who is the resident doctor at Ark Hospital, Ipaja, Lagos State, Dr Ajibaye, recommended Prof for the fibroid operation. The surgery was successful and my parents maintained the relationship with Prof. It just seemed like a No-Brainer to contact Prof when I was faced with a damning test result.

The report made me feel terrible. My ego took a major nose dive and I felt less of a man. So all this while, I was living in a fool’s paradise, all this while, I was firing blanks. But I had impregnated a lady before! I was a man! What kind of idiot must have conducted the test? How dare they tell me that I was incapable of making babies? Me?

Unfortunately, the understanding of most men about fertility is warped. We equate fertility with the ability to have an erection and ejaculate. When a man is able to do this, he simply assumes that he is fertile. When he ejaculates and he can see semen, then he believes this must definitely be choice seed. The problem must then be the woman.

A woman does not ejaculate. She does not gain an erection to show potency, neither does she ejaculate to show that she can produce seed. And so more often than not, she is the first suspect in infertility issues. Her anatomy is mainly internal so we suspect that the cervix, or uterus or tubes or something else must have issues. The day men realise that they can produce a bucket full of semen without any living sperm in it, then the re-education can commence.

“Blaming others is an act of refusing to take responsibility. When a person can’t accept the fact or the reality, they blamed another person or the situation instead of taking accountability.”  ― Dee Dee Artner

My semen looked thick enough, I produce it in appreciable quantity, I have impregnated someone before…what went wrong? The result was there to speak for itself. This man had a serious case of Oligospermia.

I wept profusely even as Justina held me close. Why was this happening to me?

My father called to tell us that the Prof would see us tomorrow after church service.

At night, Justina and I decided to pray. Now we usually pray in church and every once in a while, when we laid in bed before sleeping, we would say a short prayer. But this night, we were faced with a grave problem. It wasn’t going to be the usual prayer, we had become desperate. We needed a quick fix. God just had to hear us!

Sometimes when we go through challenges, we are not eager to understand why God allowed us to pass through it or what lessons are there for us to learn. We just want a quick fix and a testimony. We never want to patiently wait on God. No. it is okay to begin to quote scriptures on healing and have children without even having a full understanding of God and his ways. We want to see God but we don’t want to develop a pure heart.

Reality check…

Heaven’s paramount interest is not bread for you or children to satisfy your cultural values. Heaven is more interested in the salvation of your soul. Simply because you ask doesn’t mean God is obliged to give you children. Are you saved first?

Have you been purified? Is your body the temple of the Holy Spirit? Are you still connected to the true vine? Are you still an eligible candidate for God’s miracle? Are you in his presence where he wants you to be?

God is not a doorman. He is not obliged to open when you knock.

God is a proud landlord. And to see him, you must come bearing gifts.

The gift of a broken and contrite heart, the gift of a pure heart and a willing vessel, the gift of worship, the gift of praise. In all these gifts, he longs for the ultimate gift, your soul.

Have you given it to him? Are you worthy?

"The Lord is near to the broken-hearted and saves the crushed in spirit". Psalm 34:18

Prayer that night was awkward at first. Since we got married, Justina had never seen me engage in fervent prayer. I felt a little embarrassed at first; then my life flashed before my eyes…I saw wher.e I had been and saw where I ended up…only God could save me.

“My soul is weary with sorrow; strengthen me according to your word” Psalm 119:28

I burst into tears and without a single care in the world, I worshipped.

“…Then men began to call on the name of the lord" Genesis 4:26

THE FOOL'S PARADISE...AND NOW THERE IS A PROBLEM (SEASON 1 EPISODE 5)

“He who trusts in his own heart is a fool…” Proverbs 28:26

After our marriage in August 2015, my wife and I had decided to engage in safe sex until January, 2015. From August through to December 2014, we resorted to condoms, pills and the withdrawal method. By January 2015, all gloves were off and we started working towards having a child.

By March 2015, after trying for three months to take in to no avail, we decided that it was time to seek medical assistance…

Why so early you might ask? I really don’t know. I guess I was confident in my potency and so I had expected results at my first shot.

Justina consulted a doctor, particularly to find out if a mild infection she had suffered earlier could be responsible for her inability to conceive. She also wanted to be educated better on calculating her ovulation period. I live in Magodo Estate Phase 1 in Lagos State and Justina had visited the Local Healthcare Centre in the Magodo-Isheri area to seek medical attention. Justina was advised to undergo some tests. The results came back without any major cause for alarm. She was clear.

At this point, I was still confident that I was fertile and healthy. As far back as 2002, I had gotten a lady pregnant. Needless to say, I had procured an abortion for her. That was the assurance I needed as proof of my fertility. I was a real man.

Woe to those who are wise in their own eyes, and prudent in their own sight! Isaiah 5:21

Justina consulted another doctor who was the elder sister to her friend. The doctor advised that I should go for a sperm analysis test and also watch what I ate. Now, I had an addiction to sugar, especially carbonated drinks. The need to reduce my sugar intake never bothered me before now, maybe because I never gained excessive weight. What did I know?

On the day Justina met with her friend’ sister, she had used my car to make the trip. Now Justina had her own car and she worked with the Lagos State Internal Revenue Service located in Alausa, Lagos State, the same location as my office. However, Justina’s car was not exactly reliable so she had to take mine for the trip. When she returned, she drove into the Lagos State Secretariat to give me my car. I met with her in order to pick up the keys and she was in company of two friends. She then said jokingly…”Uzoma when we get home, we have a lot to talk about, first thing you need to drop is your coke intake” that hit me hard. Being spoken to in that manner in the presence of her friends was more than I could bear, I simply smiled and walked away.

By the time we got home, I expressed my displeasure at her comments. Why should she speak to me that way in the presence of her friends? Was she insinuating that I had the problem? I assured her that I was a fertile man and I would undergo the test to prove it. At this point, I was still very confident because I assumed that the same potency I showed in 2002 was still in me…what did I know?

On the 7^th May, 2015, dressed in a navy blue suit and brown shoes, I went to AJ Rapha Diagnostic Centre in the Ojodu area of Lagos State to have a sperm analysis done. I had all the confidence in the world. The Lab Technician handed me a sterile tube. Using Vaseline in the toilet, I masturbated until I ejaculated into the tube. When I handed the specimen back to the Lab Technician, I had this corky look on my face…”prime stuff” The test costs N3000.

I never told Justina I went for the test though, I wanted the result to be a surprise to her. I was told to come back for my result by 10a.m on Saturday the 9^th May, 2015. On that fateful day, Justina and I went queueing for fuel in the morning as there was fuel scarcity in Lagos State this period. Around 1pm, we left the filling station without any luck. While Justina drove her car home, I raced to AJ Rapha Diagnostic Centre to pick the test result. I had parked my car at a distance and I mounted a commercial motorcycle to the centre.

On getting to AJ Rapha Diagnostic Centre at about 1.30pm, they were about closing. I grabbed my test result and dashed out…on the bike ride back to where I parked my car, I opened the test result.

I felt numb.

“Arrogance is a creature. It does not have senses. It has only a sharp tongue and the pointing finger.” 

― Toba Beta

THE BITTERSWEET YEARS......A TIME TO MOURN (SEASON 1 EPISODE 4)

“For thus says the Lord: the whole land shall be desolate; yet I will not make a full end” Jeremiah 4:27.

In 2009, September 4th, I lost my mother to Cancer. She had battled the ailment since 2008. My world stopped.

When you lose someone, the initial tears are short-lived. You immediately stop crying and swing into action. The reality hits you later in the day…at night. Then you start having dreams of the deceased being very much alive. You fight in your subconscious to keep dreaming and you hope that somehow by some genius stroke of magic, the dream becomes a reality. Morning comes along with its grief and then your heart breaks…again.

Mum had lived a good life, she was a Christian and she had made peace with several people before her demise. It was God who led her to do this, in preparation for her homecoming. She is in heaven now, I hope I am able to make her proud even as she makes me proud.

Father was able to hold the family together as a single indivisible unit. His five children were all he had now and he held us close…I also developed some form of maturity during this time…I was matured enough to break up with my then girlfriend. Our genotypes didn’t match and she may not have made the best of wives. It was a tough decision, but I had to make it.

In 2012, my father remarried. My step-mum is Yoruba. Not that I minded though, I was actually more Yoruba than Ibo in many ways. Forget the cliché of the wicked step mother…mine is different. My step-mother is a mother like a mother and we all love her greatly. She had previously been married but she lost her husband in 2007…they never had any children.

In 2013, my third sister got married to a wonderful young man. These were good times.

And on 23^rd August, 2014, after three years of courtship and love, I got married to my wife 

Justina. She is Yoruba.

As a result of work, maturity, family commitments and maybe some form of fulfilment, my lifestyle of deceit and women remained tamed for some time before my marriage…in its place was an amoral lifestyle devoid of any form of reverence for God or belief in his words. The events of the next few days after my marriage would kill me further…

On the 27^th august 2014, I lost my elder sister to sickle cell anemia…life!

“The righteous perishes, and no man takes it to heart; merciful men are taken away while no one considers that the righteous is taken away from evil” Isaiah 57:1